You go first. Always.
When I think about “unlocking limits” and “not sweating the small stuff,” it’s not just a motivational line I throw around…
It’s something I’ve been living, breathing and learning every day.
Especially now.
Because my daughter, Danika, is about to turn 18.
And it hit me like a wave..
Have I done the best job I could to prepare her for the world?
Not just the easy parts.
All of it.
The ups, the downs, the heartbreaks, the wins, the moments that make you doubt everything and the ones that remind you exactly who the hell you are.
I think about the woman she’s becoming, the choices she’ll make, the boundaries she’ll set, the dreams she’ll chase… and I realise something big.
My job was never to shape her into what I wanted.
My job was to prepare her to choose for herself.
And she has.
She’s about to become the first woman in our family to go to uni.
A whole new chapter.
A new identity, a new level, a new world, a whole new future.
And it’s the little things that got her here.
The conversations.
The values.
The standards.
The “No, you deserve better.”
The “I know your worth, even when you forget it.”
The pushing not because I wanted control, but because I saw her potential before she ever did.
When you’re raising a woman… every small thing matters.
Check out this reel, this is what I’ve built in 18 years.
That’s success.
And yeah, the highlight reel shows the soft, sweet side of her.
But let me tell you something…
There’s another side too.
A bold, confident, take-no-sh*t side.
The side that stands up for herself.
The side that knows exactly who she is.
The side that makes decisions without waiting for approval.
And I love that about her.
But here’s the part most people don’t want to admit.
Your kids become who you are.
Not who you tell them to be.
So I had to become the woman I wanted her to learn from.
I had to learn emotional intelligence.
I had to understand boundaries.
I had to stop accepting crumbs.
I had to stop shrinking.
I had to get honest about how I treated myself, because whether we like it or not.
What you do… they do.
You set the tone.
You set the standard.
You go first.
So yes, I’ve been the black sheep.
The one who chose feelings over silence.
Boundaries over approval.
Growth over comfort.
And life?
Life is just one big roadmap. Messy, unpredictable and always teaching you something if you’re willing to listen.
But here’s what I know..
If I want her to be strong, I have to show her strength.
If I want her to have standards, I have to raise mine.
If I want her to unlock her limits, I have to unlock mine first.
And that’s exactly what I’ve been doing.
For her.
For me.
For the next generation of women in our family.
So… if you’re in a season of wanting more.
More confidence, more clarity, more power over your own life.
Start where I did.
Go first.
Learn your boundaries.
Learn your worth.
Learn who you are without the noise.
And unlock the limits you didn’t even realise were holding you back.
Here’s the guide I wrote from that exact place, for every woman who’s ready to step into her next level.
Because when you grow, everyone around you grows too.
Especially the ones watching you the closest.
And trust me… they’re always watching.
Ness x